Nolite te
Mock The Week: Unlikely Greetings Cards
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Frankie Boyle:
Congratulations, you're 18! On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.
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Russell Howard:
My heart goes out in sympathy, I know your life is torn. I can't believe your dear sweet mum, caught you watching all that porn.
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Frankie Boyle:
Congratulations on conquering your drug and alcohol dependency. We're having a party to celebrate, but you can't come.
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Fred MacAulay:
I know you're green, I've done my bit, this card is made of recycled shit.
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Andy Parsons:
Get well soon! PS: I know it's terminal, but they didn't have a card for that.
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Hugh Dennis:
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm locked up in Broadmoor, and thinking of you.
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Frankie Boyle:
Thinking of you at this difficult time, has given me an erection.
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Hugh Dennis:
You're moving! We've repossessed your house.
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Frankie Boyle:
Congratulations on passing your test! You have HIV.